So, its 5 in the morning. its late, and yet my mind races along with the beat of The Airborn Toxic Event. The song thats playing pretty much sums up my existance. I find alot of music has some refrence to my life, but I think alot of people find that. That one song by blink 182, Adams song, just makes me cry with the amount of personal significance it has. but, again, most peole find songs like that, latch onto them, and think that they are their songs.
Its Saturday morning, christ, such a long week. I actually have things planned for this weekend. its a scary revelation when you realize that you have 3 or 4 conflicting plans, all happening at the same time. some, like meeting up with a friend for his birthday, are more tempting than the others, like going to a halo/anime night, or seeing a local band at the one gay bar in our town. though, getting all hooched up for the band, would be fun, and trying to find some guy to go and do in his car, sounds appitizing, i think ill try to do all 3 someway. its gonna be a long night tomarrow, that, for one thing, is sure.
but, for right now, its just me and the computer. well, thats not exactly true, the space heater is trying desperatly to warm the bed room. so, ill light another smoke, inhale slow certain suicide and run though the night in my head, once again, making sure, everything is where it should be, worry about taxes, the phone bill, the weather, my need for an athletic hobby, or just the fact that im alive. ill file it all away some other time. i worry alot.
so, as of now, i have 2 views of my blog, obviously im not doing as well as my friend's blog Borrowed Flesh. i may not have the writing style, i may not have the stories, i may not have the world experienc, but i do have my own personal take on the world. this includes my fear of morbidly obese amputies.
you will find, as i write more that i have a different take on things than normal people. i dont know if this is the lack of sleep or if i am just that messed up in the head. so, please comment, please tell me what you think. i am just a man, a young man, trying to find some way to get whats in his head, out.